Gorilla

As I pass the school on Highbury Barn I notice amongst the kids running round and shouting, a young boy lying on the grass, between two trees. I slow down to check he's ok. He's deep in thought staring upwards. The grass isn't real, it's bright and fluffy.

I'm wearing a ruck-sack, both straps over my shoulders, which I suspect makes me look like a tourist. The bag contains birthday presents and a book, 'Just Kids' by Patti Smith, about her and Robert Maplethorpe living in New York City in the 70's, struggling to establish themselves as artists. That book's the only luxury I afforded myself this month. Last month the only luxury I bought was a big red plastic tomato for storing tomato sauce. By the end of the month I was starting to regret it. When I looked in my food cupboards to find the cupboards bare except a big red plastic tomato, I was not happy with my choices. I was ready to blame that big red tomato for everything.

Tracy's birthday so we go to the zoo. It's a cold day and the meercats are hiding away in their hidey-holes. The pelicans are either standing upright or shrunk down, burying their heads into their feathers. The pancake stall is shut. Curse you big red tomato. The big tiger is asleep. The smaller tiger is by the glass and we peer in at him, but he's uninterested. The penguins are ready to perform, waddling to the water before jumping in for a swim. Underwater they look like big fish. The butterfly area housed in a tent shaped as a caterpillar is a refuge from the cold. The butterflies fly around us and sometimes onto us. An old volunteer guy shows me the pupas where the butterflies hatch.

My favourite part of the zoo is the gorilla house. They just make you laugh, the way they slope along nonchalantly, scratching themselves and munching on food. The younger gorilla perches himself on a branch, his arms folded, as if to say: "I ain't performing for anyone." The older gorilla upturns a plastic basket and sits on it staring out the glass at us. He has a really sad look on his face as we peer curiously in.

Don't worry about it Gorilla. You could have evolved and now be spending your time blaming everything on a big red tomato.