Unexpected item in bagging area

Lunch time in Sainsbury's and things are not going well. The self-service machines are getting worse. I've had to call an assistant over every time for weeks. The machine is always claiming there's an unexpected item in bagging error. That would be a bag. It asks if you've brought your own bags. I haven't but say yes because last time I said no it told me to ask for the assistant. This time it doesn't believe me and tells me to ask for the assistant. I was lying. Then it mischarges me for the cheese which according to the label over by the cheese section is on special offer. The guy tells me I have to query it. I look to the query desk and refuse because there's a huge queue of people. If it was a cartoon they would be shaped like a huge question mark. Eventually he sends someone off to find out the price. The self-service machine says £3.29. I'm saying £2.50.

The price checker goes off to find out the real price. When he returns he's brought back a different cheese and hasn't looked up the price. I'm looking at my bag of stuff and thinking of just walking off. But my lunch is in there and I'm hungry. I get in to a conversation with the original assistant.
"These self-service machines are getting worse."
"Yes you're right," he replies eagerly. "Everytime they update them they are less reliable."
The price checker returns and the assistant asks him what the price should be.
"2.25."
I have him on side now, the query queue has gone down and he charges over there and tells the girl to put my shopping through, quickly.

Back in the dark ages, in the seventies, when you couldn't move for Osmonds, the weekly shop took place at the Spar shop round the corner, you put your order in and they delivered your shopping for you. Now you can serve yourself. That's progress for you.

Here comes the weekend. I'm heading to a 40th birthday party, some of the guys who'll be there I've not seen for nearly 20 years. I've a great picture somewhere of a load of us in the Crown, which was the main pub we went to when we were 18 - 20. I'll have to get an updated one of us all now. I'm always promising you pictures aren't I? Here's the tray I bought as a housewarming for myself when I still didn't have a place to live. Good in'it? See you soon.